Why are you here? Not you....them

It's 3:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I just spent close to an hour trying to eject this boulder of crap (literally and tmi.....I know) from my body and was less than partially successful. 

I've been trying to go to sleep, but I'm wide awake...and irritated. Anyway, random thoughts started going through my head, so I decided to document them: 

Everyone and everything comes into your life for a reason. There are no mistakes or happenstance. 

Some people come into your life to bless you or to teach you a life-long lesson. Some people come into your life for a season. God allows some people to purposely come into your life to test and distract you from your purpose. Its called temptation and it's up to you to have that discernment and be focused enough to reject involvement with that thing or individual (or group of individuals). 

During Jesus' 40-day fast on the mount, do you think the devil came to him for a reason?  Was there a reason for the Pharisees to approach him various times during his ministry?  Was it because they were meant to be a part of his life or was it to tempt him and pull him away from the destiny that he had been chosen to fulfil?  

What would have happened, if Jesus chose to befriend these happenstance individuals?  They weren't all bad, right?  The devil offered him many pleasures that Jesus ultimately could have used to help others (if he so chose). The Pharisees believed in God and constantly prayed and went to the temple. What would have happened to US, if Jesus had allowed these individuals to become a part of his life?  He most certainly would have avoided the hurt and pain of being hung on that cross! However, he ultimately would have not been able to successfully carry out the mission that his father manifested him on this earth to do. 

Thank you, Jesus, for having the discernment to know who was put in your life strictly as a test/temptation and the strength to be able to reject those individuals from your life..... understanding that it's not being mean, but focusing on and moving in God's purpose for your life!

How to Create a New Habit

We were given a handout in my HypnoBirthing class that is very applicable to everyday life.  Of course, this was given in reference to practicing our self-hypnosis strategies, so that we are prepared to implement them during labor/delivery.  However, I thought that everyone could use this as a guideline in forming new habits.

1. Pick something you want to do
2. Write down why you want to do it
3. Write a strategy to reach your goal
4. Record progress daily for 1 week
5. Re-evaluate for any changes that need to be made
6. Follow for 30 days

At this stage in the pregnancy, we are hoping for a natural birth, but are prepared to do whatever is necessary to deliver a healthy baby girl.  If I am required to get a c-section (which I absolutely don't want), I will not feel like I've wasted my time in this HypnoBirthing class.  The lessons that they are teaching me go far beyond childbirth.  I am learning lessons for life.

Want to be a Millionaire? Start Here!

*The below passage is a composite of information retrieved from Dave Ramsey and the author of The Millionaire Mind, Dr. Thomas J. Stanley. 

I was actually doing a 10-day reading plan on what the Holy Bible says about money.  Today's topic was all about integrity and how it plays a large role in the lives of those who have lasting wealth.  It also talks about the role that integrity plays in all areas of your life, not just finances.

When I truly looked at my life....When I truly looked at the life of those around me, both personally and in the public eye, I can truly say that this philosophy holds true. 

There is a definite correlation (my husband's statistics class is having an effect on me) between LASTING happiness/success and integrity.  I know several people who have made loads of money, moved up quickly in business and have acquired what appears to be a great family unit.  Those that lacked integrity have always fallen in the end.  They've gotten demoted, lost their families, gone to jail, become mentally depressed, etc.

Integrity is not all about being a 'good person.'  Frank Lucas (American Gangster....duh) was a great person, if you look at how he fed the poor people in Harlem and employed people in various businesses around New York and New Jersey.  He took care of his mother and made sure that all of his family wanted for nothing.  However, his integrity lacked.  Sure, he cared about his family.  Most of the other 'good' things he did were mainly used as a means to cover up his lack of integrity.  In the end, Frank Lucas' entire empire was taken down and he spent many years of his life behind prison bars. (This is an extreme case, but this philosophy holds true in less dramatic situations as well....think along the lines of the mistress, the adulterer, the person who doesn't pay tithes because they have too many bills, the person who does the least amount of work to be viewed as 'doing their job' at work, the person who steps on whomever is in their way in order to get to the top, etc., etc.).

I am far from being rich and not even close to being a Millionaire, but I do attribute the things that I do have to my level of integrity.  I also attribute my deficiencies to the areas where I lack integrity. 

So much was going on in the beginning of 2014 that I never took the time to sit down and map out my goals for the year.  Despite a few setbacks, I was able to have a very successful 2013, achieving almost every goal I set out to achieve (some things are just out of our hands and must be turned completely over to God.)  I've decided that in 2014, I would like to work on my integrity.  With a daughter on the way, I really want to be an example of how a woman should be.  I want her to grow up loving and admiring me, not just because I am her mother, but because I am strong, driven and truly a woman of integrity. (see commentary below)

In his book The Millionaire Mind, Dr. Thomas J. Stanley studied the habits of several hundred individuals with a net worth of at least $10 million. He really wanted to find out what makes the typical millionaire tick and uncover any common characteristics that contributed to their wealth.

As he examined the results of his interviews and surveys, Stanley found a definite connection between personal integrity and financial success. In fact, he ranked integrity as a prime predictor of wealth potential - even higher than an individual's chosen business or industry.

In other words, integrity matters!

The reason so many people struggle with building wealth is that they also struggle with integrity. They lack a basic commitment to honesty. That's a strong statement. In fact, it may be so strong that you think it doesn't apply to you. But if you're breathing and if your heart is beating, you have wrestled with being completely truthful at one time or another - and some of those struggles probably had something to do with money.

Simply put, there are two ways to make money and build wealth. You can rely on dishonesty, or you can stay completely committed to integrity.

Dishonest money may seem to come more easily, but it never lasts. It dwindles away like sand running through our fingers. But honest money, gained through hard work and investment over time, grows. It provides security - not to mention a clear conscience.

Given the current harsh economic conditions, it may be tempting to compromise integrity for short term gain.

In the long run, however, economic gain is easier and more psychologically rewarding if one is truthful.  Millionaires rated integrity (being honest with all people) as the number one factor out of 30 that explains their economic success.  Note that these 733 respondents represented the top 1% of the wealth holders in America.  Jon, one of the respondents and a wealthy entrepreneur, attributed much of his success to what his father taught him about integrity: Never lie.  Never tell one lie.  If you tell one lie, you will have to eventually tell fifteen more to cover up the first lie.  In turn, each of these 15 requires 15 more or 225 lies and on and on.

Integrity matters - in your finances and in every other part of your life - because a moral breakdown is not a victimless crime. Dishonesty will deeply wound you and those around you. Unless you hold yourself to an ultra-high standard, you will walk through life with an emotional and spiritual limp.

Fortunately, it's not too late to correct course. If you've skimped on integrity in the past, now's the time to come clean - to yourself, to others and to God. Repair that chink in your armor today.

Remember, integrity matters!

It's The Little Things

Everything has a purpose and I always wondered what the purpose was in my painful situation. 

I'm sure the full purpose has not yet been realized, but am glad that I was able to use my experience to help another mother-to-be in need. 

For that, I am grateful. 

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: (Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV)

Sow & Reap

But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. (2 Corinthians 9:6 KJV)

This is a very powerful scripture to me and can be seen as a roadmap to living life successfully, or not so successfully. 

Where are you in your life? In your marriage, family, spiritual development, education, career, etc. It is a direct reflection of where and how you have sown your seeds. 

Are you just getting by or are you reaping bountifully?  It is a direct reflection of where and how you have sown your seeds. 

Examine yourself and know where your priorities lie. What is most important to you?  Sow your seeds in those areas and if you sow them bountifully, you will reap bountifully. 

Be careful, however, of sowing seeds in areas that are not positive. Bad seeds bear bad fruit. Those bad fruit will grow up and choke those good fruit that are most important, just like weeds choke good crops. You must pull those weeds out, so they do not sneak up and destroy the crops that you really want and need. 

I did a little research on weeds and found the following:

No matter what definition is used, weeds are plants whose undesirable qualities outweigh their good points, according to man. Our human activities create weed problems since no plant is a "weed" in nature. Though we may try to manipulate nature for our own good, nature is persistent. Through the manipulation process, certain weeds are controlled, while, other more serious weeds may thrive because favorable growing conditions for them also have been meet. Weeds are naturally strong competitors and those weeds that can best compete always tend to dominate.

Weeds are troublesome in many ways. Primarily, they reduce crop yield by competing for water, light, soil nutrients, and space. Other problems associated with weeds in agriculture include:

a) reduced crop quality by contaminating the commodity;
b) interference with harvest;
c) serve as hosts for crop diseases or provide shelter for insects to
overwinter;
d) limit the choice of crop rotation sequences and cultural
practices; and
e) production of chemical substances which are toxic to crop plants
(allelopathy), animals, or humans.

It's funny because I also read a text that mentioned the benefit of weeds. Getting rid of weeds takes a lot of effort and work. You have to get out there in the sun and literally rip them from the ground. What a backache! Limiting the amount of weeds also takes a lot of effort and work. It requires you to be selective and making sure that you only sow clean seeds. In some crops, weeds can often help to shield those crops from the blowing wind. However, in the end, if you allow the weeds to stay long enough, they may protect you from the winds in the short-term, but they will eventually do what weeds do. Decrease your crop and lessen, if not destroy, your harvest. 

REPOST: Setting {Realistic} Goals

A bowl full of lemons

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Setting {Realistic} Goals Posted: 05 Feb 2014 09:01 PM PST   For many of you, you took the New Year to look ahead and to set some goals.  I applaud you. I am a huge fan of setting goals.  I really believe that when you are deliberate with the direction you want to go, you are more likely to change what needs changing!     It's been said that if you don't make a plan, set a goal or make a resolution, you are really just wishing for something to happen or change in your life. So what happens to so many of us within the process of setting goals? We start out strong!  We are pumped, enthusiastic, gung-ho, charged, motivated and ready to go.  We dream big, we set our new standards high and we visualize quick success.  We are excited for the fresh start, the clean slate, the new path, you name it. What we are not is realistic. If I asked you to list the top goals that people make as New Year Resolutions, what would you guess? Were you surprised by the list? According to the source, 45% of Americans make New Year's Resolutions.  And the percentage of people who successfully achieve their goals is only 8%. We know that making goals can really make a difference in our lives.  That without goals we won't tend to make the changes we so long to make.  We need to stop and ask ourselves;  "How do we connect the dots between setting a goal and actually reaching a goal?  How do we bridge the gap and truly set realistic, achievable goals?" I want to be in that 8%!! One way to start is by taking a smarter approach. How does the S.M.A.R.T Approach look in real life? I'll explain with an example.  Let's say I want to make a goal to "lose weight."  Here is how I would use the S.M.A.R.T Approach to more realistically plan my goal. Morgan's New Year's Goal – Lose Weight Specific: I want to lose 10 pounds and be within my normal weight range for my age and height. Measurable: I will weekly document my weight loss and share with my accountability partner. Attainable: I will schedule my workouts, plan my meals and make better, healthier choices daily. Realistic: I will be more disciplined and choose to make the tough choices to exercise and eat well. Timely: Short term I want to lose one-two pounds per week, long-term I want to lose all 10 pounds by the end of 12 weeks. If I had just said that I wanted to lose weight, chances are good that I would have started out strong and then within a few days or weeks would have fallen back into previous habits and patterns.  Without a realistic plan I would just be wishing to lose weight! When you take a more objective approach to goal setting you will automatically be more realistic.  It is better to start with smaller manageable goals and then as you complete them you can add more to the list.  Some optimism within goal setting is great, but you need to remember to sprinkle in a large dose of reality too! Make today your "someday."  Choose one small goal, implement the SMART Approach and let reality be your guide.  Like I've said before, it's not about perfection but rather progress! Share with me, do you set goals?  Are you in the 8%? My name is Morgan.  I'm the energetic and motivated, but also realistic girl, behind Morganize with Me.  My mission is to share tried and true techniques that I hope will encourage my readers and clients as they focus on their health and homes.  I believe in simplifying, prioritizing, and measuring progress one day at a time.  When I'm not blogging, organizing, or exercising, I can be found cooking a simple dinner or spending time with my sweet family.  My life is full and fun and somewhat messy too.  A motto that I hold near and dear to my heart, is that less IS more.  Unless, of course, there is an opportunity for another Chai Tea Latte or I'm shopping at Target.

Forgiveness

 

Under what circumstances must you forgive?

Iyanla Vanzant just released a book on forgiveness, teaching you how to forgive everyone for everything in 21 days. 

I am currently reading The Love Dare book with the marriage ministry at my church, which is a 40-day challenge to transform your marriage through love....using the love that god shows us as an example. They mention forgiveness throughout the book. They even have a day/dare/challenge dedicated to this topic and make it very clear that if you do not forgive others, God will not forgive you. True!

I am up to Day 25 and it's topic is "Love is Jesus Christ."  It focuses on God's love for us and how we can not truly love another without understanding and embracing the unconditional love that God has shown for us, by giving his son as the ultimate sacrifice to wipe away our sins, even while we were still sinners. All True!

There was something that stood out to me that I never really fully connected before. God's love for us is unconditional. He loves us even when we turn our backs on him. He wakes even the evil up every morning, may give then good health, a roof over their head, protects them, etc., etc.  However, there is a requirement before he forgives. The sinner must repent and turn away from those sinful actions.  He continues to love them, which gives them the opportunity to recognize and repent before life leaves them. However, he does not forgive them, unless they take the necessary steps to repent. They will still suffer the consequences of their sin, which is death, if they never repent. (SN: Even if they repent, sometimes it is not enough to stop the more temporary consequences.....ie. disease, jail, loss of trust and respect from others, etc.)

Hmmm....so, if we are supposed to love like God, then are we expected to forgive everyone for everything?  That is not the example that God has given us. He has provided a way for us to receive forgiveness, regardless of the severity of our crime against him. But it is not just given to us. There is something that is required of us, first....and that is repentance. 

Love unconditionally? Yes!  Forgive unconditionally? Not from what I read.

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There are few topics in life that I hold near and dear to my heart.  Building wealth is one of them. 

 

I'm not exactly sure how I got here, but the only explanation I can think of is that God gave me this gift.  I did not grow up knowing anyone with wealth or money.  There was just something in me.  I can still remember creating ridiculous businesses as a child where I would get my little brothers to search the entire house and find unclaimed change.  As a reward, I would give them a portion of the money found or some kind of gift and save the rest for myself.  I remember when I got my first job at the age of 16.  I worked a few hours a week at KFC.  I remember saving all my money to buy my sister and I some respectable clothing to wear to school and on the weekends.  I also remember having money leftover long after I quit my job.

 

Anyway, I love when I come across articles that have really good explanations on how to build wealth.  This is one of them (see below).  The only thing I would change is how much you should invest in company-sponsored 401(k)/retirement plans.  I would not contribute the maximum amount they allow, but instead would contribute the maximum amount they will match.  My job will match up to 6% of your salary, but will allow you to contribute much more.  I contribute 6%.  If you want to save additional amounts for retirement, I would suggest a ROTH IRA.

 

Investing

Steps to building wealth

By Bruce W. Fraser • Bankrate.com

Remember playing Legos as a kid? You could quickly take a random pile of blocks and build something solid. The steps to building wealth are not so different, as the process involves a series of small decisions that move us along, one building block at a time.
"It is from those daily decisions that individuals build wealth," says J. Landon Loveall, founder and president of Cumberland Wealth Planners in greater Nashville, Tenn. "What you do now will determine where you are financially 20 years from now."
The steps to building wealth begin with a clear intention to attain it. After all, accumulating money is not a haphazard occurrence, but a deliberate process.
Once you determine that attaining wealth is a priority, focus your energies on maximizing your income, saving a portion of it and investing it for growth. Building wealth also requires you to make decisions on potentially destructive forces that erode wealth, such as inflation, taxes and overspending.

Building your income

Your income represents the foundation upon which you build lifetime wealth. The higher your income, the greater your potential for accumulating significant assets.
When you're young, the value of your future earnings is your No. 1 financial asset. Find a job you love, invest in educating yourself and keep abreast of changes in your career field.
"The lifetime return for making these investments at this time is greater than saving in Roth IRAs, or any investment, even factoring in the power of compounding," says Certified Financial Planner Joe Alfonso, founder of Aegis Financial Advisory in Santa Clara, Calif.
To stay on top of your field, take advantage of college savings plans with tax-favorable characteristics that are available to students of all ages.
Going hand in hand with earning money is the ability to live within your means and plan for contingencies.
"By far, the most destructive forces to building wealth are inertia, procrastination and, ultimately, magical thinking -- couples passing away peacefully and synchronously just after they spend their last dollar," says Certified Financial Planner Melissa Einberg, a wealth adviser at Forteris Wealth Management in Purchase, N.Y. "They simply fail to plan, not only for retirement, but also possible obstacles they will face on the way to retirement."

Saving your money

Saving money is the next step to building wealth. How much you save is a measure of how efficiently you use the wealth-building opportunity in your income. In their book, "The Millionaire Next Door," Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko discovered that self-made millionaires are very efficient at turning income into wealth.
Ultimately, it comes down to a balancing act. "The most important decision is how to balance current spending with future savings, or living a good life now versus saving for a great life in the future," says Loveall. Both he and Alfonso advise clients to save at least 10 percent of their annual income.
Rick Kahler, president of the Kahler Financial Group in Rapid City, S.D., would double that to 20 percent or more "until you have six months to one year of living expenses for an emergency fund."
In addition to creating an emergency fund, Kahler, co-author of "Wired for Wealth," advocates opening a separate savings account for purchases of future cars, car repairs, vacations and Christmas gifts. The rest of your income can be spent on current consumption.
"For most people, this means living on 30 to 60 cents out of every gross dollar you earn," he says.
Saving can be an easily accomplished, automated process when signing up to contribute to a workplace retirement plan such as a 401(k). Kahler warns against "leaving money on the table if your employer offers a match on a 401(k) plan. It's like turning down a guaranteed 100 percent return. It's a no-brainer."
He suggests maximizing your contribution. Currently, the contribution limit is $17,500; $23,000 for those 50 and older. If you're truly motivated to build wealth, after maximizing your 401(k), contribute to an IRA. The contribution limit is $5,500; $6,500 for those 50 and older. (The tax deductibility of IRA contributions may be limited if you contribute to a workplace plan and your earnings exceed certain levels.)
If self-employed, set up a retirement plan that will allow you to invest as much as possible. Investing in a tax-sheltered account such as a Solo 401(k) cuts taxable income now and enables you to build wealth by deferring taxes until you take distributions.

Putting your savings to work

Wealth-building strategies include investing in paper assets such as stocks and bonds, buying income-producing real estate and owning a business -- or all three.
Experts generally agree on the importance of such core investment principles as keeping a balanced and globally diversified portfolio, and diligently rebalancing to maintain your investment plan. Maintaining a long-term perspective is also important.
"Successful investing is about discipline, understanding of your tolerance for risk and, most importantly, about setting realistic financial goals and expectations about market returns," says Einberg.
Studies have shown that an asset allocation policy can explain most of a portfolio's investment returns over time. When investing in stocks, diversifying across markets both domestic and international, developed and emerging, is key, says Alfonso. For bonds, closely managing credit and maturity to avoid taking imprudent risk is also important.
Passively managed funds that mimic an index allow investors to build diversified portfolios of inexpensive funds. Actively managed funds generally cost more and are susceptible to style drift, given the leeway managers have in carrying out their investment strategy, says Alfonso.
When choosing investments, your tolerance for risk will likely dictate your asset allocation. Professionals with steady paychecks and generous employer retirement benefits usually can tolerate more risk than a salesperson earning commissions or a young investor starting out -- though young investors can afford to dial up the risk by investing more in equities since they have plenty of time to make up any losses.
Beyond stocks and stock funds, many investors are diversifying into nontraditional asset classes, such as commodities, managed futures, merger-arbitrage and market-neutral or long-short funds, as well as absolute-return mutual funds. These "alternative" funds aim to hold up in all types of markets with less volatility. They also help to fight inflation -- that seemingly benign annual increase in the price of goods and services that actually destroys your purchasing power over time.
While choosing non-correlated assets to increase diversification is important, Alfonso advises investors to stick to a prudent investment strategy, regardless of market conditions. "Keep investment costs as low as possible; net returns will be higher. And, most importantly, never try to time the market."
As famous investor Peter Lynch once said, "Far more money has been lost by investors preparing for corrections, or trying to anticipate corrections, than has been lost in corrections themselves."

Article on Having It All

As you all know, I would really like to get my PhD (in Business) at some point.  I have been paying very close attention to academic articles/working papers that would help me to narrow down the subject I would like to major in.  When I went to the PhD fair the other month, they suggested reading papers you are interested in and paying close attention to the schools that sponsored the paper and the subject/major of the individuals who wrote the paper.  This is a subject matter that interests me greatly and was written by a research associate at Yale's School of Business Management.

 

The following link (http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2200581) is of a working paper/study on "Having it All," based on that article I sent you a while ago.  In this paper (which is quite long), the author tracks the lives of 40 or so women over a period of time.  In tracking their lives and interviewing each lady, the author was able to summarize their responses into 3 categories:

 

Can I have it all?

1.       "No, but I can have what is most important."  Strategy: Prioritize and Limit.  No, I cannot have it all, but I can have what is most important to me.  I can prioritize which endeavors I will pursue, and which I will limit or do without.  This answer is animated by the conviction that a woman's highest priorities – whether related to work, relationships, or lifestyle – command so much attention that she can only truly have one or two, in her lifetime.

2.       "Yes, but not all at once."  Strategy: Sequencing.  Yes, I can have it all, but not all at once.  I can sequence the elements I want to include in my life, focusing on energies on one until I am satisfied and ready to turn my attention to the next.   The women who embraced this answer also felt they needed to invest fully in their top priorities, and could only do justice to one or two elements at a time.

3.       "Yes."  Strategy: Add and Delegate.  Yes, I can have it all.  I can pursue all the elements I want, and delegate some of the tasks needed to make it all work.  In contrast to those who prioritized or sequenced, women who adopted this approach were much less likely to think their choices conflicted with each other so much as to be mutually exclusive.  They anticipated adding every major element they wanted – in work, relationship or lifestyle – without significant postponements or concessions.  They would keep up by enlisting help (housekeepers, nannies, bookeepers, assistants, etc.), as necessary.

 

This study also follows up with each of these when they are older to determine how their strategy turned out for them.  In summary, 41% of the women who chose to prioritize and limit felt their solution went relatively well and were happy with the outcome.  50% of the women who chose to sequence felt their solution went relatively well and were happy with the outcome.  20% of the women who decided to strive to have it all and delegate tasks were ultimately happy with the outcome at the later stages of their life.

 

Doctor, Doctor!

I am just leaving an Information Session and PhD Business School Fair at NYU. 

I am now more inspired and determined than ever to get my PhD. I don't know how I will get into one of these programs or how long it will take me, but (God Willing), I will achieve this goal. 

I wasn't able to stay until the bitter end, but I was able to get so many great nuggets of information during the one our that I was there. Now, I just need to come up with a master plan. 

Step 1:  Continue to work at my job and use the opportunity to become even more involved in research and contributing to original studies/papers. 

Step 2: GMAT  (I will not take the actual test until I get, at least a 700 on my practice test.......I've got a long way to go. *sigh*)

Step 3: Find opportunities to gain even more research experience (particularly in academia) and possibly teaching experience (although this is less necessary). Can I get a side job as a research assistant for a professor?

Step 4: Research schools, research programs, research professors and research academic articles that interest me. The articles are the key in finding the right programs for me. 

Step 5: Decide the next best step. Should I jump right in and apply for the PhD program?  Should I apply for an MBA program because it's less competitive and try to parlay that into a PhD?  Take a few classes and try to parlay that into a PhD?  At this point I will take a step back, evaluate and then decide. 

Bucket List Club (1 June 2013 Update)

Are you feeling like your in a rut?  Unhappy with life?  Unhappy with yourself?  Feel like your unable to truly achieve anything?  Have low self-esteem?  Regretful of missed opportunities and foolish/shameful things you have done in your past?  Been used and abused, but can't seem to think of yourself as more than a loser?  I think I just might have a solution.

First, I'd like to share a quote from one of my very favorite authors/therapists about self-esteem.

"Self-esteem must be earned! When you dare to dream, dare to follow that dream, dare to suffer through the pain, sacrifice, self-doubts, and friction from the world -- when you show such courage and tenacity --  you will genuinely impress yourself.  And most important, you will treat yourself accordingly and not settle for less from others -- at least, not for long.

Self-esteem is always forged from your efforts.

Accomplishment, leading to self-esteem, is not just about doing something....it is about the courage to persist through pain and failure and self-doubt; to go past 'splat." 

~Dr. Laura Schlessinger

All this to say that I just got a huge boost of self-esteem last night, which led me to take steps to increase my self-esteem even more this morning......and for some reason I know feel happier than I did just 24 hours earlier.  The strangest part of it is that the initial thing that caused me to have this boost of self-esteem is a weave.  Huh?  Let me explain.

Back in June 2012, my sister was casually discussing how she and my nieces were creating bucket lists (things they want to do/accomplish/experience) before they die.  For some strange reason, I became obsessed and decided to start a Bucket List Club with them.  I even wrote a blog about it (http://thisismethenblog.blogspot.com/2012/06/if-you-dont-prioritize-your-life.html).  So our mandate was to create a bucket list and meet once a year to decide which bucket list items we would work on for that year. We picked one short-term goal (to be completed and crossed off by the end of that year) and one long-term goal, that we would take defined steps to move closer towards that goal by the end of that year.  To help in achieving these goals and not becoming overwhelmed, we have quarterly meetings and break our goals up into 4 measurable steps throughout the year.

For 2013, my short-term goal was very superficial (Trust me, I do have more serious goals in the horizon, but I wanted to start with something light).  Before I die, I wanted to experience what it was like to have a weave.  I have very thick and full hair and during the time in my life when it was at it's longest, people actually thought I had a weave.....but I never really had a weave before.  I'd like to know what it looks and feels like.  Is it really as addictive as people say?  Is it a good strategy to use to give your natural hair a break and grow without interruption?  I wanted to find out for myself.

Well, last night was the night.  I took a half day off work and went to a salon in Philly (Upper Darby, actually) who did my friend's weave back in December.  My scalp is in pain and it takes some getting used to, but I'm so happy that I did it.  I've accomplished something! .....and I woke up this morning feeling just a little better about myself.......and it caused me to make a move towards my long-term goal.

My long-term goal I am working towards this year is getting my PhD.  Yes, I want to be a Dr. and I eventually want to teach at a college level.  Knowing that The Princeton Review is one of the best test prep strategy courses in the nation, I went on their website and registered for a free practice GMAT test at Rider University (near my house) in September.  I've got to start somewhere, right?

The point is that I felt so good about myself this morning that I HAD to blog about it!  Want some self-esteem?  Start a bucket list club and stick to it....or just create some concrete goals and constantly work towards them.  Earn that self-esteem and you will have it.....as well as so many of the other things you want in life.  :-)  *inspired*


The hair I brought:



Me leaving the salon that night:

Right before wrapping my hair and going to bed that night:

Wash Lightening!!!!

I am soooo excited!  Today is the start of wash day and I have an extra step to add to my (new) weekly regimen.

I have no problem with my natural hair color (except for those stray grays that keep popping up), but I have always viewed it as kind of bland. It's just dark brown....sometimes it looks medium brown in the summer sun, but most often looks off-black when worn straight and when products are added to my hair (which is almost all the time). 

I've always admired the naturally medium brown color of my sister's hair, which has red and sometimes golden undertones that reveal themselves in the sun. (See pic below....I'm the short one with the almost black hair and despite the dark background, her brown is shining through)

My initial plan when I first started my hair journey was to get highlights 2+ weeks after my last TexLax and couple it with a golden brown rinse several weeks after. However, my hair has not reacted well to my transition to lightly texturized hair and has been too weak for me to consider adding an additional chemical to my hair. 

Luckily, I just happened to come across KSIsooooFLY's blog on naturally lightening your hair. So, taking her advice and coupling it with some other information I found on the Internet, I brought some supplies and added a hair lightening prepoo to my weekly washing/co-washing regimen. Hopefully, my hair will gradually lighten without all the damage caused by permanent hair dyes. 

During my lunch break I brought a spray bottle and I took two chamomile tea bags from the kitchen at my job before leaving for the weekend and this my hair regimen is ready to begin

PREPOO

1. Boil water
2. Put chamomile tea bag in one cup of boiling water.  Allow to sit 1 hour.
3. Squeeze the juice from one lemon in the tea
4. Mix 1/4 cup of honey into the tea
5. Mix 1/4 cup of conditioner into the tea
6. Pour mixture into spray bottle
7. Saturate hair with mixture
8. Apply additional honey directly to hair
9. Spray one additional layer of mixture onto hair.
10. Cover hair with a shower/conditioning cap for 30 minutes

WASH/CO-WASH

1. Co-wash or wash hair
2. Apply deep conditioner
3. Cover hair with shower/conditioning cap and deep condition hair overnight
4. Rinse conditioner in the morning
5. Apply rinse-out conditioner, while in the shower and detangle while in the shower.
6. Pat dry with towel, then t-shirt dry for 15 minutes
7. Apply leave-in conditioner
8. Air dry hair using the scarf method or do a braid/twist-out style.