Marriage via Mother Theresa

I am taking this excerpt from a blog post I read this morning. I could rehash her sentiments, but I think she expresses this way better than I can rehash, so here it goes......

For those interested, a link to the full blog post is available at the end. 

The only way to have a successful marriage that will become a legacy to all future generations is to teach NOT through your words alone, but allow your beliefs to be lived out daily before your children.   Walk by FAITH and pray believing in God’s goodness, faithfulness, and love for us!   Love without boundaries.  Apologize with great sincerity – quickly.  Offer forgiveness always.  Walk with God humbly, seeking to live a life of holiness.  Let your words be few and your deeds change the hearts of all who spend time with you. 

God’s grace is changing our marriage.  He is redeeming all the years we sought to be right/validated, etc.  He is redeeming all of the ways our marriage dishonored Him and each other.  He is redeeming what the enemy used to try and destroy us.   He is asking us to trust in His redeeming work and humble ourselves before Him.   It is amazing what He is doing month to month as we truly answer Him with nothing more than a sincere cry from our hearts, “Yes, Father.”   “Thy will be done.  Be it done unto me/us according to Thy Word.”  

Our children are benefiting from us walking humbly with God and each other.  Our children are changing by watching us live out what we have taught them for many years.  Because now it is real to them.  They are learning that we take sin seriously, because God takes it very seriously.   They are learning that when we make a mistakes, we seek God first to make it right.   They are learning that marriage is an act of great love = humility!   It daily chooses the best for the other.   We pray we never forget or take for granted the work God has done in each of us and our marriage.   Friends, God is in the business of redemption.   No matter how far gone your marriage is, NEVER discount what His perfect love can and will do when you humble yourself before Him – seeking to do things His way, not yours.  Don’t worry about your spouse and if they are going to change, let God worry about them and seek to truly open yourself to His redemptive work in you.  

Here is what has worked for us:  

1. ALWAYS - Seek God with all of your heart and soul.
2. Pray about it more than you talk about it.
3. Spend time being still.  You can’t hear from God if you are always talking or busy.
4. Stop demanding you are right.  Stop needing to be loved your way.  Ask God, to show you how to love in a way that will draw you closer to Him and your spouse.  Learn how to communicate in truth and LOVE!  HUMILITY always seeks the best for the other person.  Think about what is best for your relationship and if what you are going to say or do will edify your spouse and your marriage.  If not, then don’t say it or do it!
5. Love is not a feeling, it is a verb…an act of sacrifice.  It is what you promised the day you said, “I do.”  Live out your vows.
6. Divorce is NEVER an option. Speak life over your marriage and spouse.  Don’t give any opening to the enemy who desires to destroy what is sacred in the eyes of God. Forgive each other, neither of you are without sin (faults, annoying habits, etc.)  The ONLY exception is if you are being abused or put into dangerous situations.  Then please seek help.  Do NOT suffer in silence.  There is help!  Find people who will NOT judge your situation, but want to help you have VICTORY over it!
7. Spend time together doing things you both enjoy. 
8. Go out on dates.  No exceptions.
9. Look for the good in your spouseand compliment them about it every single day.   Don’t lie.  Everyone has good qualities.
10. Be kind or be quiet.  Words can’t be taken back and are often hard to forget.  They can only be forgiven. 

http://www.jillsamter.com/2014/08/hushed-and-humbled.html?m=1

Forgiveness

 

Under what circumstances must you forgive?

Iyanla Vanzant just released a book on forgiveness, teaching you how to forgive everyone for everything in 21 days. 

I am currently reading The Love Dare book with the marriage ministry at my church, which is a 40-day challenge to transform your marriage through love....using the love that god shows us as an example. They mention forgiveness throughout the book. They even have a day/dare/challenge dedicated to this topic and make it very clear that if you do not forgive others, God will not forgive you. True!

I am up to Day 25 and it's topic is "Love is Jesus Christ."  It focuses on God's love for us and how we can not truly love another without understanding and embracing the unconditional love that God has shown for us, by giving his son as the ultimate sacrifice to wipe away our sins, even while we were still sinners. All True!

There was something that stood out to me that I never really fully connected before. God's love for us is unconditional. He loves us even when we turn our backs on him. He wakes even the evil up every morning, may give then good health, a roof over their head, protects them, etc., etc.  However, there is a requirement before he forgives. The sinner must repent and turn away from those sinful actions.  He continues to love them, which gives them the opportunity to recognize and repent before life leaves them. However, he does not forgive them, unless they take the necessary steps to repent. They will still suffer the consequences of their sin, which is death, if they never repent. (SN: Even if they repent, sometimes it is not enough to stop the more temporary consequences.....ie. disease, jail, loss of trust and respect from others, etc.)

Hmmm....so, if we are supposed to love like God, then are we expected to forgive everyone for everything?  That is not the example that God has given us. He has provided a way for us to receive forgiveness, regardless of the severity of our crime against him. But it is not just given to us. There is something that is required of us, first....and that is repentance. 

Love unconditionally? Yes!  Forgive unconditionally? Not from what I read.

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