The Link Between Quiteness and Productivity (article excerpt)

This one's for my husband, whose always complaining that the "loud" girls at his job always seem to get the promotions and everyone seems to think they know more.........

Once you stop chatting and become more quiet, your productivity soars!  Let them continue to be all loud and rambunctious. The truth always reveals itself, eventually....... 

FC Expert Blog

The Link Between Quietness And Productivity

By Roberta Matuson

August 7, 2012

This blog is written by a member of our blogging community and expresses that member's views alone.

Some of you may have tried to reach me this morning and found that I was unavailable. That's because I was knee high in muck with my husband and some friends. We were out having what I call clamming wars, here on Cape Cod.

I have to admit, my team was quite vocal everytime we scored a clam, which by my count was many. The other team raked for clams quietly in the distance. You can imagine our surprise when the quiet team hauled in considerably more clams than our team. Who would have thought?

Sometimes we forget that the most productive people in an organization aren't the ones who make the most noise. In fact, it's often the quiet ones who out-produce everyone else.

Here are some reasons I think this is so.

Being quiet strengthens focus. It's hard to focus on the task at hand when you yourself are making so much noise. The other team, who participated in the clamming wars, never took their eye off the prize. Our team, on the other hand, did a happy dance in the sand everytime we hit pay dirt. In retrospect, this was probably valuable time wasted.

Being quiet calms others. Quiet people have the ability to calm those around them. For example, when everyone is stressing out because it looks like a team isn't going to meet their deadlines, it's usually the quiet people who are able to calm people down and carry them over the finish line.

Being quiet conveys confidence. You don't have to prove anything to anyone when you are confident. You know you do a good job and you believe that eventually others will take notice.

Being quiet means you think before you speak. Quiet people are usually thoughtful thinkers. They think things through before making a statement. Something you probably wish many of your workers would do before taking up your valuable time.

Being quiet gives you the space to dig deep. Quiet people tend to delve into issues and ideas before moving on to new ones. Compare this to the surface people in your organization, who often move onto other matters without giving thought to the gold that may be sitting right below the surface.

The next time you evaluate team performance, be sure to give credit where credit is due. Remember that at the end of the day, it's not about the noise one makes, but what one actually gets done.

Guest contributor Roberta Chinsky Matuson (Roberta@yourhrexperts.com) is an internationally recognized expert on increasing profitability by maximizing employee contribution. Her website is www.yourhrexperts.com. She is the author of Suddenly in Charge: Managing Up, Managing Down, Succeeding All Around, a Washington Post Top-­5 Leadership pick.

o________o THE BLANK STARE

I was just approached and asked to do something absolutely ridiculous.  In response, I said this: o________o

 

In response, they said, "What does that mean?"

 

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to THE BLANK STARE!

 

Every male on the planet knows about "The Look." It begins in early childhood when the misbehaving manling transgresses a known or unknown law and receives, from his mother, "The Look." He will receive "The Look" from hundreds, perhaps thousands, of females over his lifetime and will always be terrified and shaken by the experience.  However, women are familiar with a maddening expression that males have developed to a fine art over the years. Women have "The Look." Men have "The Blank Stare." All women have seen this expression through the years, especially when males feel they are put on the spot. "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?" she says sweetly.   She is met by The Blank Stare.   Two young lovers are sharing an intimate moment away from the crowds under the privacy of the stars. "I love you," he whispers. "How much do you love me?" she inquires. Says he, "I would cross oceans for you, scale the highest mountain, fight off ravening hoards of barbarians for you, my love." Innocently she asks, "Do you love me enough to marry me?"   Blank Stare.   The Blank Stare begins early in life, even before the man's earliest memory. Two principles are learned early on.  Principle Number One: "It is bad to lie."  Principle Number Two: "Sometimes if you tell the truth, pain follows."  For example, Johnny, only three years old, opens the door to the fridge and tries to pull out the gallon of milk. The milk is way too heavy, but he is thirsty, and besides Mom is upstairs in the bedroom.  He knows better than to do this because he has gotten into trouble before.  Yet, because males are afflicted with a terminal condition called "testosterone poisoning" they do dumb things.  The milk drops to the floor with a crash, the plastic container ruptures, and an explosion of milk covers Johnny and the kitchen floor.  Hearing the crash, Mom rushes to the kitchen where Johnny is standing, eyes innocent, dripping with milk.  "What happened in here?" she screams. Principle Number One begins to kick in: "Do not lie."  However, Principle Number Two also comes into play: "If you tell the truth, you will get your butt beat." Faced with this tension of truth versus pain, little Johnny looks at mommy in silence and blinks.   The Blank Stare is born.   It doesn't work, of course, and never will because women inflict the pain anyway.  But because males are males, they continue to react in the same old ways whether the techniques work or not.  Johnny knows that mommy knows. Johnny knows that he will probably be punished.  Yet, because he doesn't want to lie and because he hopes, against hope, that somehow he can get out of this mess ... he stares.   It should be said, however, that the blank stare is only offered to women. If a man challenges another man - "Hey, who left this mess in here?" - the testosterone afflicted male issues his own challenge "Yeah?  Who wants to know?" Arguments begin, words are exchanged, and fists may fly.  But the Blank Stare is never given to another male.  Well, maybe to a male in ultimate authority like a police officer or a father... but most males just either tell the truth or lie under those circumstances.  If a man says to another male (which he would never do), "Does this swim suit make me look fat?" the reply likely will be, "Why no, Porky, why do you ask?" Imagine saying that to a woman.  Pain would follow for sure.   Sometimes the Blank Stare is modified.  First of all, one has to realize that the purpose of the Blank Stare is to avoid unpleasantness.  Another motivation of the Blank Stare is to buy time to try to think up an excuse that is not actually a lie.  Hence a few modifications: "Honey," she says, after asking an answerable question, "did you hear me?" "Drat," he thinks, "the blank stare isn't working." "Um, I'm sorry dear, were you saying something?" Now she has to repeat the question she originally asked. The hapless man has just bought an extra thirty seconds.   It won't work, of course, it never does.  "I'm sorry dear, my mind was somewhere else, would you mind repeating that?" Whatever tactic employed, it only delays the pain.   Women are smart.  Men need to own up to that little fact.  If she asks the "do-I-look-fat-in-this" question and we don't reply, she knows the answer is, "Does Moby Dick sleep in the sea?"   If we were smart, we would just tell the truth and take our punishment.  Or if we were devious, we would just lie and then take our punishment because the female always knows when the male is lying.  But because we are noble and caring (though suffering from testosterone poisoning) we try not to lie and we try to spare feelings.  You see, the Blank Stare is actually the highest form of caring for the female.  It is a sign of the latent goodness and honour of the man.   The Blank Stare is really a compliment to the relationship that we share with the female and a way of offering respect and dignity.  Women should understand what we are trying to do, appreciate the sincere efforts we are making, and just quietly back off and accept our stare as a positive affirmation of them.

*Please note that this portions of this blog post are excerpts from another blog post available on several online websites.

So, having several single friends.....you know I had to take notice when I came across the below article.  I use to keep a personal/mental list of good places to meet prospective dates. I'll just add these to the list....for others.

 

Before I do, I will list a couple of places I thought (which actually may match up with some of the things I listed previously):

1. Gym (Hey, I know a guy who met his wife in a gym.....a good guy.  The wife wasn't so good [she spent him out of house and home and then left him several years later], but still there are good men to be found in the gym.....and most of them are in good shape.)
2. School (You want to find the man of your dreams?  Increase your education? Find a man who is on a quest for knowledge....and a higher payroll.  They will be in your classes, participating in class projects, in the school cafeteria and nearby eateries, etc., etc.....just keep your eyes open)
3. Class/Hobbies (What do you enjoy doing or have always had an interest in?  Take a class! Participate in an adventure!  You never know who's there with interests similar to yours.)
4. Church (Well, this may not work if you go to a tiny church, but consider some of the larger churches with various interest groups. Especially if your one of those girls who require spirituality from the man that you marry.  Why not start at the source?  Participate.  Go on church-sponsored trips.  You'll be surprised what you find.)
5. Volunteer (Don't you want a man who thinks of others and not just himself? A man who wants to and has enough to give back to another.  Well, find something your passionate about and volunteer.  Don't be surprised if you meet a professional, handsome man with a heart of gold.)

Now on to the article...... 

Creative places to meet dates

By Kimberly Dawn Neumann

Be honest: When you go to an art museum, you're not just checking out the paintings are you? Good! There's absolutely nothing wrong with mixing a little culture and cruising. Start looking for love in some of these creative places, and you just might paint yourself a more interesting romantic picture.

Be a drama queen (or king)
Sitting in the dark with total strangers may not sound like a great way to mingle, but imagine if you could stick around for an exclusive private party after the show? More and more theater companies are offering "incentive" parties for their regulars to mix with other theater fans. The Roundabout Theatre in New York City (www.roundabouttheatre.org) now offers a special "Social Series" where anyone who buys a 3-, 5- or 8-show season pass is invited to post-performance cocktail parties with the cast and other subscribers. "It's a low-pressure way to talk about theater with people who share your interests," says Stefanie Schussel, marketing assistant for the Roundabout Theatre Company.

The Roundabout also has a gay/lesbian series, a wine-tasting series and a young adult program called Hiptix, where 18- to 35-year-olds can enjoy a DJ dance party afterwards. "There have been two marriages that came out of the Social Series and countless relationships," says Schussel, who notes that other performing-arts groups around the country — including the Arena Stage in Washington, D.C., The Alliance Theatre in Atlanta, GA, the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis, MN, the Steppenwolf Theatre Company in Chicago, IL and the Seattle Repertory Theatre in Seattle, WA — now feature similar programs. Check with your local arts groups, because you never know who you'll meet across a crowded lobby some enchanted evening.

Go on a scavenger hunt
Get to know your city in the most fun way possible: by racing through it trying to decipher clues and complete a scavenger hunt. "Before every hunt we ask people if they'd like to meet others and then we form teams with kindred spirits," says Bret Watson, founder of Watson Adventures (www.watsonadventures.com), which runs these grown-up hunts in Boston, New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and other cities. You can narrow the field by choosing a tour that matches your interests (offerings range from The Gangsters' New York Scavenger Hunt to The Wild, Wild Life Scavenger Hunt at the San Francisco Zoo). And hey, if you do make a love connection, you two just might be back for another night to remember, notes Watson: "One guy booked a private hunt for a group of his friends so that he could propose to his girlfriend at the end."

Make something
When was the last time you created your own masterpiece? If your answer is: "Age 10 in elementary art class," it's high time you return to your creative roots. Joining a class to learn painting, photo editing, etc. is a hands-on way of connecting with others. "People come together with a desire to create something," says Bob Gereke, owner of Mud, Sweat & Tears, a pottery studio in New York City, "but what often happens in the process is that they create relationships and friendships as well." But before signing on, strategize: If you're looking to meet men, consider joining a photography, filmmaking, or landscape design class rather than a knitting circle. And guys: You'll probably meet more ladies studying watercolor or pottery than woodworking. At the very least you'll come out of the experience with something cool you made yourself.

Share your story
Love to read, write or rap? Storytelling events (including poetry jams and book readings) are a fresh way to connect with like-minded souls. At The Moth (www.themoth.org), bi-monthly storytelling forums called StorySLAMS — currently happening regularly in New York, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Los Angeles, Louisville, KY and Ann Arbor, MI in addition to storytelling tours nationwide — 10 randomly selected people per night each get five minutes on stage to share their story on a pre-selected topic. At the end of the night, a StorySLAM winner is selected to compete in a future StorySLAM final. "These events are very rowdy, fun and all-inclusive," says Sarah Jenness, a senior producer at The Moth. "You'll often end up sitting at a table with someone you didn't know before the night started but people always end up talking and sharing stories before or after the show and during intermission… it's just a very open environment." Nowhere near a Moth event? Check your local area bookstore for readings and discussion groups, because wordplay can be quite the turn-on.

Pull an "art-nighter"
Ever been to an art museum after dark? More and more art museums keep their doors open late to encourage mingling while admiring their master works. The de Young Museum in San Francisco has a "Friday Nights at the de Young" series (free admission on Friday nights from 5-8:45 p.m. between March 30 and November 23, 2012), which is usually jam-packed with single professionals. The Dallas Museum of Art has combined forces with the nearby Nasher Sculpture Garden and Crow Collection of Asian Art to offer a "Late Nights at the Dalsas Museum of Art" series of social events one Friday each month through September. These gatherings often include themed evenings tied to current exhibits and feature happy hours, repertory film showings, live music and DJ performances, and even a Twitter-driven scavenger hunt. (Single parents, there are activities for the kids here, too.) And the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) hosts an annual late-night party running from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m. that includes live performances, DJ sets and free admission to the museum. "If two people are viewing the same piece of art on the wall, it's an excellent conversation-starter and a non-invasive way to break the ice and meet someone," says Heidi Simonian, media relations manager for LACMA.

Shake your groove thing
Suddenly, ballroom dancing is all the rage again. And social dancing classes will definitely bring you into close proximity with other "eligible" dance partners. "When you ballroom dance, you automatically get to have fun and interact with someone of the opposite sex," says Jonathon Roberts, a Dancing with the Stars professional and United States Ballroom Dance Champion. Roberts suggests that singles attend a group class or go out dancing (think swing, country/western line dancing or salsa at a local club). "Guys are always afraid to look like idiots on the dance floor, but for single men, there is no better place to pick up women," says Roberts. One place to start? Check out the United States Amateur Ballroom Dancers Association (www.usabda.org) for social dance options and classes in your area.

Act like a starving artist
If you're lacking the funds to become an arts supporter, check out www.goldstarevents.com, which offers cheap tickets to performing arts events nationwide (including many reduced-price artistic adventures for singles). Recent bargain offerings included photography trips, art tours, and theater tickets. "These events have a tendency to bring people together to connect and share — key ingredients in a budding romance," says Goldstar Events CEO Jim McCarthy. "And because we offer tickets at half-price, people can experience a great night out inexpensively and often." Who says you have to suffer for your art... or for your social life?

Kimberly Dawn Neumann is a New York City-based freelance writer whose work has appeared in such publications as Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Women's Health, Redbook, Quick & Simple, and frequently online for Match.com. She is also an artist who has performed on Broadway and in numerous national tours.

---

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.