6 Weeks to the Holidays: What will you eat?

Welcome to This is me…..Then!  If you like what you see, subscribe here for free updates, or you can “like” my Facebook page here and receive new posts in your news stream.  Once you like my page, you can choose to see posts in your newsfeed first or receive a notification for each post made.  Thanks for visiting!

 
In mid-October, I committed to spending the next 10 Weeks Organizing my Holiday Celebrations with Organize365.com..  Please join me as I go through this challenge and feel free to follow the steps, as well.

I will start each week’s challenge on a Sunday (oops…..I’m a little late again) and the challenge will end on Saturday, December 26^th.

 

Last week, we discussed what we are doing for the holidays.  It's still not completely decided, but we've agreed on some things.

~ Thanksgiving at our place.

~ We will participate in our typical Christmas Eve traditions and have added a new tradition to the mix.  Our Christmas Eve traditions include:

1) We buy each other pajamas to be opened and worn on Christmas Eve

2) We buy each other a book to be opened on Christmas Eve

3) *new tradition*  We buy a gift for the house that can be enjoyed by all of us and open it on Christmas Eve.

~ Christmas Day is undecided, but likely will spend it at home

This week, we decide on what we will eat.

One thing is for sure.  We will have a turkey for Thanksgiving.  I believe we have a little under $60 to spend between now and Thanksgiving to earn a free turkey at ShopRite.

 

Christmas dinner is undecided, but we will discuss it, this week.

 

How about you?  What will you be cooking for the holidays?  Do you have any food traditions that you automatically know that you will have each year?

 

See the rest of the 10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations:
10 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Commit
9 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Make A Plan 

8 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Will You Send Cards?

7 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Do You Want To Do?
6 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Will You Eat? {You're here!}
5 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Gift Wrap Organization
4 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Decorating The House
3 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Stock Up On Basics
2 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Create Bags For Each Event
1 Week To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: DeClutter and Donate Old Toys

7 Weeks to the Holidays: What are you going to do?

Welcome to This is me…..Then!  If you like what you see, subscribe here for free updates, or you can “like” my Facebook page here and receive new posts in your news stream.  Once you like my page, you can choose to see posts in your newsfeed first or receive a notification for each post made.  Thanks for visiting!

 

In mid-October, I committed to spending the next 10 Weeks Organizing my Holiday Celebrations with Organize365.com..  Please join me as I go through this challenge and feel free to follow the steps, as well.

I will start each week’s challenge on a Sunday (oops…..I’m a little late again) and the challenge will end on Saturday, December 26^th.

Last week we decided if we would send out cards.  The plan is to send out cards.  I sent my husband a link to Minted last week, so that we can agree on a design.  I used Minted for my daughter's birth announcement cards, last year, and they were absolutely stunning.  The cards are not as cheap as Shutterfly*, but the quality is totally worth it.  Either we will use some of the pictures we took this past Spring with our favorite family photographer (Photography by Jen Davis), we will use one of Selah's school pictures (that she's actually taking today) or we will be getting pictures taken specifically for the purpose of the Christmas/ Holiday cards.

Beginning today (well.....Sunday actually), there are 7 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations and the task for the week is to decide what we want to do.

 

 

The things we will be discussing are:

1) Where will we be spending Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the weekend after Christmas?

2) What foods do we want to make and which dishes will we request that others provide?

3) What about Christmas activities?  Tree lighting ceremony?  Sesame Place?

4) What about decorations?  Do we want a Christmas tree?  Real or fake?  Do we want a wreath for the door?  Any new ornaments?

 

So how about you? Are you into Holiday Planning?  Have you thought about what you will eat, where you will go and how you will decorate?

 

See the rest of the 10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations:
10 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Commit
9 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Make A Plan 

8 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Will You Send Cards?

7 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Do You Want To Do? {You’re here!}
6 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Will You Eat?
5 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Gift Wrap Organization
4 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Decorating The House
3 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Stock Up On Basics
2 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Create Bags For Each Event
1 Week To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: DeClutter and Donate Old Toys

* Shutterfly is offering 50% off on all cards and 20% off on all photo cards purchased through the links on this page by December 31st, 2015.

Love & Respect

Welcome to This is me…..Then!  If you like what you see, subscribe here for free updates, or you can “like” my Facebook page here and receive new posts in your news stream.  Once you like my page, you can choose to see posts in your newsfeed first or receive a notification for each post made.  Thanks for visiting!

 

During the month of July, we attended a 4-week marriage conference at Fellowship Alliance Chapel (FAC) in Medford, NJ.

There were many takeaways that we got from the conference. The most tangible were:

1) Matching T-Shirts (mine not shown)

 

 

2) A book entitled, "Love & Respect"

 

 

The philosophy of this book is based on Ephesians 5:33, which reads: 

 

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (NIV)

 

According to the author, this is the secret (and God given instructions) to a happy marriage.....or at least a marriage that is pleasing in God's eyes. 

 

RULES OF THE GAME:

 

- Women have an innate need to have someone love them, to make them special and to make them the most important one in their life. Men have the need to feel respected and admired by the woman in his life. 

 

- When women do not feel love from their spouse, they tend to be disrespectful towards them. When the man feels disrespected, he tends to withdraw his love. This is called the "Crazy Cycle" because it goes on an on in a downward spiral, unless someone decides to make a change. 

 

- Who should make the first move?  The one who sees himself or herself as the most mature. 

Taking the role of the mature mate and moving first may be risky, but it is very powerful. The fear, of course, is that you will show love or respect to your spouse and get a bad response.    However, holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away. Being mature and making the first move could slow it down or even stop the crazy cycle.....and take you to the "Energizing Cycle. "

 

The basic principle of the Energizing Cycle is as follows:

HIS LOVE MOTIVATES HER RESPECT; HER RESPECT MOTIVATES HIS LOVE

 

What if your spouse is unmotivated, no matter how you act towards them?

 

A HUSBAND IS TO OBEY THE COMMAND TO LOVE EVEN IF HIS WIFE DOES NOT OBEY THE COMMAND TO RESPECT, AND A WIFE IS TO OBEY THE OMMAND TO RESPECT EVEN IF THE HUSBAND DOES NOT OBEY THE COMMAND TO LOVE, UNCONDITIONALLY.

 

This brings us to the "Rewarded Cycle." 

 

HIS LOVE BLESSES REGARDLESS OF HER RESPECT; HER RESPECT BLESSES REGARDLESS OF HIS LOVE. 

 

Throughout the book, the author emphasizes that if the husband and wife are both people of basic good will, they can use Love and Respect principles to make a bad marriage into a good one and a good marriage into a great one.  However, even if your wife does not show you respect or your husband does not show you love, God commanded men to love their wives and women to respect their husbands.......unconditionally!

 

Unconditional love and unconditional respect will be rewarded. 

 

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  (Matthew 5:46 NIV)

 

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.  (Ephesians 6:7-8 NIV)

 

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body.  "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."  This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  (Ephesians 5:21-33 NIV)

 

What you do matters to God. Nothing is wasted. 

 

*This book can be purchased on Amazon.com



8 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Will You Send Cards?

Welcome to This is me…..Then!  If you like what you see, subscribe here for free updates, or you can “like” my Facebook page here and receive new posts in your news stream.  Once you like my page, you can choose to see posts in your newsfeed first or receive a notification for each post made.  Thanks for visiting!

In mid-October, I committed to spending the next 10 Weeks Organizing my Holiday Celebrations with Organize365.com..  Please join me as I go through this challenge and feel free to follow the steps, as well.

I will start each week’s challenge on a Sunday (oops…..I’m one day late this week) and the challenge will end on Saturday, December 26^th.

Last week we made a list of all the people we planned to buy Christmas gifts for and created a rough budget for whatever purchases we decide to make.

Beginning today, there are 8 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations and the task for the week is to decide if we will send out cards.

 

 

Sending out cards is something my husband and I have contemplated since we first got married.  Before having a baby, we didn’t do it because it felt kind of lame.  Who wants to see a picture of two adults as a Christmas card?

Last year was the first year we had a child in our lives, but our lack of planning and organization prevented us from meeting any kind of deadlines we would need to get pictures taken and send Christmas cards out in a timely manner.

This year, we are going to give it another try.

Will we send cards?  That’s the plan.

What kind of cards?  Well, as it stands, we have a few boxes of general Christmas cards in our file cabinet from previous years.  We’ll likely use those cards and stuff a picture of either just Selah (my daughter) or our entire family.  If we run out of those general cards (which I don’t think we will), we may create a custom card to send out to our A-1 list of family and friends.  This year, the top vendor on my list is Minted.  We used them for our daughter’s birth announcement and the results were gorgeous.  They even send you pre-printed envelopes with the recipient names listed on them for free!

Do you plan to send Christmas cards of you and/or your family for the holidays?

 

See the rest of the 10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations:
10 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Commit
9 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Make A Plan 

8 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Will You Send Cards? {You’re here!}
7 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Do You Want To Do?
6 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Will You Eat?
5 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Gift Wrap Organization
4 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Decorating The House
3 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Stock Up On Basics
2 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Create Bags For Each Event
1 Week To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: DeClutter and Donate Old Toys

9 Weeks to Christmas 2015: Make a Plan

Last week, I committed to spending the next 10 Weeks Organizing my Holiday Celebrations with Organize365.com.

 

I will start each week’s challenge on a Sunday and the challenge will end on Saturday, December 26^th.

Beginning today, there are 9 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations and the task for the week is to make a plan.

So, this week, we will decide our holiday gifts budget and make a list of who we plan to buy gifts for.  We already discussed our budget ($500…..including Selah) and have a pretty good idea of who we will be purchasing gifts for (mostly children).  However, I want to put everything in writing and I want to include the maximum amount we are willing to spend on each person (We kind of already discussed that, as well).

Minor Details:

-       Last week, while doing our bi-monthly budget, I started a Christmas Gifts savings account on SmartyPig.com.  I initiated a transfer of $100 from our joint to start the account.  We just got our NY state tax refund (much less than I expected :-( ), which will be used to fund the remainder of our account.

  *   Plan of action is to redeem our savings in discounted gift cards from SmartyPig.

     *   Plan of action is to either give gift cards as gifts or use gift cards to purchase gifts through the eBates website/app…..or load gift cards on Gyft app and use them in the stores.

-       We are hoping to send out cards this year and the cards will be coming out of our budget.

-       Our gifts for each other does not come out of this budget.  We must use our own personal spending/savings for the gifts we’re buying each other.

*   Side note detail includes the fact that part of our Christmas tradition includes always including pajamas and a book in our gift for the other person (this includes Selah), which is opened the night before Christmas.  Every other present is opened on Christmas morning/day.

See the rest of the 10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations:
10 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Commit
9 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Make A Plan {You’re here!}
8 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Will You Send Cards?
7 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Do You Want To Do?
6 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Will You Eat?
5 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Gift Wrap Organization
4 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Decorating The House
3 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Stock Up On Basics
2 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Create Bags For Each Event
1 Week To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: DeClutter and Donate Old Toys

Wardrobe Updates (and other Periscope musings.....)

If anyone has had an informal chat with me lately, you know that my new social media obsession is Periscope. 

Periscope lets you broadcast live video to the world.  Going live will instantly notify your followers, who can join, comment and send you hearts in real time.

Watching a scope (that’s what they call the individual broadcasts) earlier this morning led me to the topic of wardrobe updates.  @jeimonroe is a fashion curator and was scoping on the 15 Wardrobe Essentials that every female should have in her closet.  Those 15 wardrobe essentials, according to Jei Monroe are:
1.       A denim button-down shirt
2.       A Blazer
3.       A classic black pant
4.       A maxi dress
5.       A little black dress
6.       A denim jacket
7.       A white button-down shirt/blouse
8.       A nude pump
9.       A classic clutch
10.   A trench coat OR pea coat
11.   A pair of great boots (ankle boots with a heel* ……or knee length boot)
12.   A knee-length pencil skirt
13.   A great leather jacket
14.   A pair of dark denim jeans
15.   A pair of classic ankle – strap heels

NOTES:

A – I need this list!  With being pregnant for the past 3 years (kind of) and finally admitting that I’ve gone up a clothing size, I am now committed to purging those pieces of clothing that I can no longer fit and building my wardrobe with basic pieces that I can easily put together at a moment’s notice.

B – I no longer enjoy shopping like I used to.

C – I no longer have the time or the wherewithal to go shopping whenever and wherever I want.

D – I discovered a whole new service from another person on Periscope (@RuthSoukup of LivingWellSpendingLess) that will help me build my wardrobe without having to actually go out and shop.

That service is called Stitch Fix.  Stitch Fix is a personal styling service tailored towards helping busy women on the go discover and explore their personal style without having to spend countless hours at the mall, going from store to store.

How it works:

1)       You sign up for Stitch Fix online and fill out a personal profile, detailing your size, height, body shape and style preferences.

2)       For the cost of $20, a personal stylist will pick out 5 items each month (though you can select any frequency you want….I chose once a quarter) and mail them to your house.

3)       You keep what you want and return what you don’t want. 

a.       If you keep items, the $20 goes towards the total cost.

b.       If you keep all the items, you get a 25% discount on all the items.

4)       You give feedback to the stylist on the items you received, so that your next shipment is even more customized and tailored to your personal style.

My plan with Stitch Fix is that I (mainly) focus on those basic wardrobe essentials that will never go out of style.  With essentials, like a leather jacket, I don’t mind spending retail price because I know I’ll get a lot of use out of it.  I’ve had my current leather jacket since before I got married (so over 6 years) and it is still going strong.  It’s a wardrobe staple that I’ve more than got the $100+ amount I spent out of it.

My first Stitch Fix box comes on November 6^th!  I cannot wait and promise to report back on how it goes.

10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations

There is one thing that we've wanted to do ever since we got married......and even more so since we've had a baby.  We are officially a total family now, so I think it's time to start sending out holiday cards, decorating the house and giving to others during the holidays.

I came across a blog that provides a 10 week challenge that helps you plan and organize your end of year holiday season, which I decided to participate in.  Please join me as I go through this challenge and feel free to follow the steps, as well.

 

*For more information, visit Organize 365 at http://organize365.com/organizing-your-holiday-celebrations/

 

 

If this post begins week 10 and I start all following weeks on Sunday, we can actually complete the final week from December 20th -26th.  Perfect!

 

Hopefully, we'll actually be able to decorate the house and send out Christmas cards this year!

 

See the rest of the 10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations:
10 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations {You’re here!}
9 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Make A Plan
8 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Will You Send Cards?
7 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Do You Want To Do?
6 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Will You Eat?
5 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Gift Wrap Organization
4 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Decorating The House
3 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Stock Up On Basics
2 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Create Bags For Each Event
1 Week To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: DeClutter and Donate Old Toys

Letter to my 15 Year Old Self (PART 1)

I read an article entitled, "15 Truths I Wish I'd Known About Love 15 Years Ago," in the Huffington Post this morning.  Great article.  It is basically a 30-year old woman looking over her life and analyzing what could have changed her (love) life for the better, had she known it at the age of 15.  It got me thinking, what would I tell my 15 year old self, knowing what I know now.  Not only in love, but in all aspects of life.  Hmmm......

 

Letter Title: 15 Truths I Wish I'd Known About at the Age of 15

 

Dear Faunya,

 

I know that you are wise beyond your years and you think that you've gotten most things figured out in life.  However, I think I have a little insight and experience that I would like share with you.  Please listen and take in everything I have to say before you interject with your comebacks.  I am you, 20 years from now, if you continue down the path you are currently on.  I know, I know, you don't look all that bad.......but wouldn't you like to be better, happier and more fulfilled?  Well, here are a few tips.......

1. Work harder, academically.  It matters.  Your grades determine the colleges you'll get in to and once in college, your grades will help to determine the jobs you will get once you graduate......and if you ever decide to go back to school for your PhD or MBA, those grades will help to determine the quality (if any) school you get in to.
2. Keep those connections.  You are a good person and a good student.  You have teachers that like you.....even admire you.  Don't forget about them, when you move on to the next stage of your life.  Keep those connections.  Cultivate those relationships.  You'll wish you did, when you're applying for other programs and need recommendations.  You'll wish you did when you're going through difficult times in your future schooling or at work and just need someone with experience to talk to.  The same actually applies to all positive people in your life, regardless of their level and pay grade.  You'll be surprised at how much other positive people can help you to get further than you would be able to get on your own.  I'm not suggesting that you maintain close friendships with each of these people.  Who has the time for that?  However, a holiday card or a quarterly email goes a long way.  Don't lose touch.
3. Keep dancing!  It's what you love to do.  You're never going to be an exercise buff, but dancing will keep you in shape.  It'll keep you energized and it will keep you engaged.  It doesn't matter that you'll probably never be a professional dancer.  It's what you love and it brings you joy.  Keep dancing!  Do some shows.  Stretch and warm up well (trust me......if you don't you'll get runner's knee), but don't stop dancing.  You'll thank me in the end.
4. Live below your means......way below your means.  Credit cards are nice. New clothes are nice.  Fancy trips and impressive apartments are nice.  However, I have found something much nicer than all of those things.  Freedom!    Whose to say that you'll want to remain at your first job forever?  Maybe you'll want to change directions and start a new career that requires you to start at the bottom?  What do you do if you're 25 and realize you may want to try out a new career before the husband and kids come, but you have a $1,200 co-op bill to pay each month?  What do you do if you find yourself in a bad situation and feel the best decision is to walk away.  Well, if you live above your means and have credit card payments, time share payments and house payments to make, you stay.  Give yourself some freedom in your older years.  Give yourself the freedom to choose the life you want and have more options to explore in your younger years.  Step one to achieving this.......live below your means.
5. Share more.  The saying goes that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.  I have spent too much time assuming that the horse would not drink or concerning myself with how the horse would react to my direction.  This has caused me to not share on many occasions.  I have learned so much during my lifetime, but I have not increased others knowledge to match my own.  We are commanded to go out into the world and spread the word to everyone, not just the people you are most comfortable with and not just those people that you think will be most receptive, but to all.  You plant the seed and leave it up to God to give the increase, if it be his will.
6. Accept who you are!  I spent many of my younger years focusing on those areas where I lacked.  If I look back at my teenage diaries, I would put "be more outgoing" as one of my resolutions each year.  I would torture myself internally because I was always more introspective than my peers.  I was embarrassed when the teacher would announce the individual with the highest score in the class (Most often, it would be me).  I developed a habit of doing all that I could to not stand out in the crowd, so that I would appear 'normal.'  However, I know now that God made me special.  Hiding myself caused me to miss out on many blessings and opportunities.  God has given each of us something special for a reason.  Embrace those things that are uniquely you.  Accept them and learn to nurture them.  It is the difference betwen being ordinary and extraordinary.
7. It's all about Him! When I left for college at the age of 17, I also officially left the church.  My grandfather was a pastor, my stepdad was a minister, my uncle played the organ, etc., etc.  Needless to say, I was born in church or atleast started attending once I got all of my shots as an infant.  My experience showed me that the most religious people were not only the meanest and most judgemental (as everyone assumes), but they were also the least spiritual.  In school, the "church girls" were the most promiscuous.  In church, money scandals and adulterous behavior were abound.  I wanted no parts of that kind of hypocritical behavior.  However, I later learned that it's not about them.  It's all about Him!  Instead of focusing on those who are not committed to their relationship with God or relegate their relationship only to how they are perceived in church, I would focus on myself and my relationship with Him!  Withouth Him, I am nothing.  Who cares about them.

P.S. I wrote this a while ago, but never got around to completing my list of 15. My friend, Tamara, made a post on Facebook today that made me think of this blog and find it in my sea of email drafts. In order to avoid procrastination and avoid allowing another 6 months to go by without sharing my thoughts, I thought I'd do this in 2 parts. I'll post what I have already written now and post the remaining 8 lessons at a later date. As a teaser to Part 2, here are the headings I had listed for 8-15. 

1. Trust your instincts! 
2. Trust the universe!
3. Don't be afraid to walk away.
4. Learn to say no!
5. Show appreciation.
6. Time is valuable.
7. Everyone has value.
8. Dream bigger!

Marriage via Mother Theresa

I am taking this excerpt from a blog post I read this morning. I could rehash her sentiments, but I think she expresses this way better than I can rehash, so here it goes......

For those interested, a link to the full blog post is available at the end. 

The only way to have a successful marriage that will become a legacy to all future generations is to teach NOT through your words alone, but allow your beliefs to be lived out daily before your children.   Walk by FAITH and pray believing in God’s goodness, faithfulness, and love for us!   Love without boundaries.  Apologize with great sincerity – quickly.  Offer forgiveness always.  Walk with God humbly, seeking to live a life of holiness.  Let your words be few and your deeds change the hearts of all who spend time with you. 

God’s grace is changing our marriage.  He is redeeming all the years we sought to be right/validated, etc.  He is redeeming all of the ways our marriage dishonored Him and each other.  He is redeeming what the enemy used to try and destroy us.   He is asking us to trust in His redeeming work and humble ourselves before Him.   It is amazing what He is doing month to month as we truly answer Him with nothing more than a sincere cry from our hearts, “Yes, Father.”   “Thy will be done.  Be it done unto me/us according to Thy Word.”  

Our children are benefiting from us walking humbly with God and each other.  Our children are changing by watching us live out what we have taught them for many years.  Because now it is real to them.  They are learning that we take sin seriously, because God takes it very seriously.   They are learning that when we make a mistakes, we seek God first to make it right.   They are learning that marriage is an act of great love = humility!   It daily chooses the best for the other.   We pray we never forget or take for granted the work God has done in each of us and our marriage.   Friends, God is in the business of redemption.   No matter how far gone your marriage is, NEVER discount what His perfect love can and will do when you humble yourself before Him – seeking to do things His way, not yours.  Don’t worry about your spouse and if they are going to change, let God worry about them and seek to truly open yourself to His redemptive work in you.  

Here is what has worked for us:  

1. ALWAYS - Seek God with all of your heart and soul.
2. Pray about it more than you talk about it.
3. Spend time being still.  You can’t hear from God if you are always talking or busy.
4. Stop demanding you are right.  Stop needing to be loved your way.  Ask God, to show you how to love in a way that will draw you closer to Him and your spouse.  Learn how to communicate in truth and LOVE!  HUMILITY always seeks the best for the other person.  Think about what is best for your relationship and if what you are going to say or do will edify your spouse and your marriage.  If not, then don’t say it or do it!
5. Love is not a feeling, it is a verb…an act of sacrifice.  It is what you promised the day you said, “I do.”  Live out your vows.
6. Divorce is NEVER an option. Speak life over your marriage and spouse.  Don’t give any opening to the enemy who desires to destroy what is sacred in the eyes of God. Forgive each other, neither of you are without sin (faults, annoying habits, etc.)  The ONLY exception is if you are being abused or put into dangerous situations.  Then please seek help.  Do NOT suffer in silence.  There is help!  Find people who will NOT judge your situation, but want to help you have VICTORY over it!
7. Spend time together doing things you both enjoy. 
8. Go out on dates.  No exceptions.
9. Look for the good in your spouseand compliment them about it every single day.   Don’t lie.  Everyone has good qualities.
10. Be kind or be quiet.  Words can’t be taken back and are often hard to forget.  They can only be forgiven. 

http://www.jillsamter.com/2014/08/hushed-and-humbled.html?m=1

Why are you here? Not you....them

It's 3:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I just spent close to an hour trying to eject this boulder of crap (literally and tmi.....I know) from my body and was less than partially successful. 

I've been trying to go to sleep, but I'm wide awake...and irritated. Anyway, random thoughts started going through my head, so I decided to document them: 

Everyone and everything comes into your life for a reason. There are no mistakes or happenstance. 

Some people come into your life to bless you or to teach you a life-long lesson. Some people come into your life for a season. God allows some people to purposely come into your life to test and distract you from your purpose. Its called temptation and it's up to you to have that discernment and be focused enough to reject involvement with that thing or individual (or group of individuals). 

During Jesus' 40-day fast on the mount, do you think the devil came to him for a reason?  Was there a reason for the Pharisees to approach him various times during his ministry?  Was it because they were meant to be a part of his life or was it to tempt him and pull him away from the destiny that he had been chosen to fulfil?  

What would have happened, if Jesus chose to befriend these happenstance individuals?  They weren't all bad, right?  The devil offered him many pleasures that Jesus ultimately could have used to help others (if he so chose). The Pharisees believed in God and constantly prayed and went to the temple. What would have happened to US, if Jesus had allowed these individuals to become a part of his life?  He most certainly would have avoided the hurt and pain of being hung on that cross! However, he ultimately would have not been able to successfully carry out the mission that his father manifested him on this earth to do. 

Thank you, Jesus, for having the discernment to know who was put in your life strictly as a test/temptation and the strength to be able to reject those individuals from your life..... understanding that it's not being mean, but focusing on and moving in God's purpose for your life!