Monday, June 18, 2012

Lord, please help me to see......

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Happy (belated) Father's Day!!!!!

Yesterday, I spent the morning visiting my dad in Queens.  I spent the afternoon at my sister's house in the Bronx and I spent the evening at a book signing in Newark, NJ…..and just like that my life changed.

I almost didn't go to the book signing.  First, I just didn't want to go for my own selfish reasons.  Second, my husband and I had a big argument on our way to pick up my sister and nieces that morning (so, we could all visit my dad in Queens) and I really just wanted to let him go there alone, while I found my own way back home from Newark.  I don't know why I didn't say anything, as he likely would've dropped me off in a fit of anger, if I had suggested it.  I guess it wasn't met to be.  I guess I was meant to have an encounter with my BLINDSPOTS.

What would you do if God healed everyone else but you? Would you celebrate if God reconciled their marriage and not yours? Could you still worship if your best friend got the job you've always wanted? 
What if the spouse you've been preparing for all your life, never shows up?

You've been praying to find someone who understands. You're tired of people putting wrapping paper over your pain. They've decorated your wounds and screamed "God is able!" But you're still bleeding. You're still burning. You're still blind.

After you finish this book, deliverance will have a new meaning. You may not get "healed"... but you WILL get help. 

I haven't even started to read the book yet (planning to start tonight with my husband), but it is right on target, and from all the sharing that went on at the book signing alone, my life has been forever changed.  It's amazing how God works and he knows EXACTLY, when you need a word from him and when you have hit your lowest point in the valley and can't handle anymore.  J It's crazy how someone else's hardships and testimonies and their ability to be transparent and share the darkest, deepest, most buried moments of their life can change you and everyone around you for the better.

Once my husband and I finish the book, we intend to pass it on to others and hope to one day be an example and share our struggles and how we made it over.  Here is a few excerpts/teasers from the book:
What do you do when the person you thought you loved, was really lust in sheep's clothing? How do you get out of a marriage that was conceived in chocolate cake and shaped in vanilla ice cream? ...

What if I told you that your greatest enemy actually thinks he is your best friend? He doesn't know he is a representative of deception because the devil doesn't interview his employees. He just hires upon availability.

When someone is violated, their sense of touch is tainted. Their understanding of love gets all jacked up. In what seems like a blink of an eye, joy gets crippled. The construction paper of peace crumbles into parchments of pain, and wholeness becomes the hardest class to pass in the college of Life & Sciences.


What are we doing, people? The church has more addicts than the penal system has convicts. We have more actors than Broadway has theatres. The reason we can't get help is because we're too busy trying to fake it. Most Christians are an oxymoron. We're truthfully dishonest, freely bound and nakedly clothed. We own a 24-hour convenience store that closes on the weekends. And we come to church to shake hands with a God we haven't spoken to all week.


I believe underneath every addiction is the desire to control the motion of our lives. Underneath every addiction is a broken mind, a fragmented heart, or a traumatized spirit. Underneath addiction is an unfulfilled request to be loved; a yearning to be held. The graveyard is easy to find. Somewhere near addiction is a tombstone where hope died.


He said he was a friend. He was a minister who came into my life to help me deal with my problems. He talked with me and laughed with me. We bonded and connected. Most days, he treated me like his son. Other days, he treated me like his brother. But the day he tried to make me his lover, he introduced me to a new blindspot: violation.


*The BLINDSPOTS e-book is available on Amazon.  Click here to find out more.


  1. Wow, just the questions alone makes me want to read this book. I constantly think of these things on a daily basis. Yesterday, while we were having conversations about my life, and I shared with you guys something a friend said to me and how it made me feel.

    Sometimes I think as well, what if it never happens for me, yet it happens for all those around me, will I be okay with that? Will I still worship God and all his infinite wisdom? I'm constantly on this questionable search in my life.

    But in all things I still trust God. I still know God has a purpose, whether or not I agree with what it should be. I know there is a lesson and there are those who I'm here to teach as there are those who are here to teach me. Maybe I will buy this book via amazon or nook today. B/c I was truly touched by this blog about the book.

    I personally feel that God constantly sends us messages from the most unlikely of situations and people in our lives.

  2. I agree! I can't wait to start reading the book! It touches on so many different aspects in life. Most is autobiographical, but he also touches on situations that have happened to people around him that makes you question God and what life really is all about.

    There were so many people at the book signing that were crying....It definitely left me inspired and left me with a renewed outlook on life and how to deal with those things that make no sense and are unfair and just can't be explained.